


Defence Against Defence Teachers II

by Alisanne



Series: Defence Against Defence Teachers [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 13:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2111073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alisanne/pseuds/Alisanne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>Challenge:</b> Written for Snape100's prompt #546: Snape and Gilderoy Lockhart.</p>
<p><b>Beta(s):</b> Emynn</p>
<p><b>Disclaimer:</b> The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Defence Against Defence Teachers II

**Author's Note:**

> **Challenge:** Written for Snape100's prompt #546: Snape and Gilderoy Lockhart.
> 
> **Beta(s):** Emynn
> 
> **Disclaimer:** The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

~

Defence Against Defence Teachers II

~

“You hired who?” Minerva’s eyes flashed, her bosom heaved, and Severus took a moment to admire her. She was magnificent, if one went for that sort of thing. 

Clearly, Dumbledore didn’t either. “Gilderoy Lockhart is qualified. He has dealt with more Dark creatures than anyone else.” 

Severus snorted. Both Minerva and Dumbledore turned to look at him. “What’s your opinion, Severus?” said Minerva. 

“Lockhart’s a charlatan,” he said. “But as there are no other candidates--” 

Minerva threw up her hands. “On your heads be it!” 

Dumbledore hummed, smiling at Severus. 

Severus sighed, interpreting the look. _Back on watch duty. Lovely._

~

Severus set the books before the clerk, who beamed when she saw his selections. “The Gilderoy Lockhart collection! Isn’t he brilliant?” 

Not deigning to respond to that, Severus extracted his money pouch. “How much?” 

She rang up the purchases. “He’ll be here signing books tomorrow,” she chirped.

“Hence why I’m here _today_.” 

Shrinking and pocketing books, Severus exited the bookshop. Once at Hogwarts, he unshrunk them, huffing. Bad enough that Lockhart was joining the staff, but Dumbledore had requested that Severus read his books to ‘gain insight’. _The things I do for this school._ Severus sighed, opening the first one. 

~

“Unacceptable!” It was Severus’ turn to rant while Minerva and Dumbledore watched. “Potter damaged school property and he didn’t just break the statute of secrecy, he shattered it!” 

Dumbledore seemed more amused than perturbed. “He had reason.” 

“What? That a random house-elf sabotaged him boarding the Hogwarts Express?” Severus snarled. 

“What’s your recommendation?” Dumbledore asked. “Expulsion?” 

Severus huffed. He knew that wouldn’t happen. “More punishment than simply assigning detention with Lockhart.” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” deadpanned Minerva. “I can’t think of worse punishment.” 

Dumbledore smiled. “Maybe if he was forced to read one of Gilderoy’s book?” 

Severus smiled despite himself. 

~

“No single person could have done all this.” Severus gestured to Lockhart’s books.

Dumbledore smiled. “The events occurred, so if Gilderoy didn’t do them, who did?” 

Severus sighed. “I don’t trust him.” 

“Nor do I, but he was available.” Dumbledore hummed. “And he hasn’t tried to kill Harry.” 

Severus rolled his eyes. “Not even the Dark Lord would use Lockhart.” 

Dumbledore coughed. “I suspect we’d be surprised at _what_ Tom would do. Now, what’s this about a duelling club?”

“I’m to help Lockhart demonstrate duelling to the students.” Severus smirked. 

“Try not to injure him, Severus.” 

“I make no promises.” 

~

Unfortunately, blasting Lockhart off the ground paled when the duel revealed some disturbing news. “Potter’s a parseltongue!” 

Dumbledore hummed. “Is he, really? What an unusual gift.” 

“An unusual--” Severus ground his teeth. “People think he’s the heir of Slytherin!” 

“What do you think?” 

Severus snorted. “That that’s ridiculous, of course. Potter’s no more the heir than....Gilderoy Lockhart!” 

“Well there you go.” Dumbledore stood. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have research to do.” 

“Research?” Severus shook his head. 

“Indeed.” Dumbledore sighed. “After all, the last time the chamber was opened, someone died. We must prevent that from happening again.” 

~

“Did you see Lockhart’s face when I told him to close the chamber?” Minerva chortled. “Priceless.” 

Severus smirked. It had been rather amusing watching Lockhart try to squirm out of the hole he’d dug himself. “Perhaps if he hadn’t boasted that he’s known all along where the chamber was and who had opened it, this wouldn’t have happened. Tosser’s probably packing now.” 

Minerva giggled. 

“In the meantime, however, Ginny Weasley’s trapped down there,” said Dumbledore.

Minerva sobered. “Once Lockhart slinks away, we’ll search.” 

“Where?” Severus sighed. “People have been searching for the chamber for centuries.” 

“True.” Dumbledore frowned. “Very true.” 

~

As predicted, Lockhart had disappeared, although, inexplicably, he’d left his half-packed belongings. Severus, leaving Minerva and Dumbledore to worry about his whereabouts, went on patrol. 

After rousted snogging couples out of the Astronomy Tower, he headed back to his quarters when he saw a curious sight. Severus squinted, then gasped. 

Fawkes was flying, but it was who he was carrying that was curious. Potter, Ginny and Ron Weasley, _and_ Gilderoy Lockhart all hung from the bird looking like the oddest kite ever. 

Severus gaped for a moment before starting to run. _Salazar. It’s going to be a long night._

~

By the time Severus arrived at the infirmary, Pomfrey was fussing over Ginny and Ron, while Minerva was talking to Potter in the corner.

Severus moved towards Dumbledore, who was standing over a very pale Gilderoy Lockhart. “What happened?” 

“Golderoy’s lost his memory.” Dumbledore sighed. “I’m afraid he’s useless.” 

Severus snorted. “I said _that_ at the beginning of term.” 

“Who are you people?” said Gilderoy, looking bewildered. He smiled at Severus. “Are we friends?” 

Severus froze, then looked at Dumbledore. “That must have been an exceptional memory charm.” 

Dumbledore hummed. “Time to talk to Harry, I think.” 

Severus sighed. “Naturally.”

~

“Lucius will seek revenge.” 

Dumbledore smiled. “He’ll certainly try.”

Severus eyed the ruined book on Dumbledore’s desk. “What a mess. Still, I believe you’re correct. I’ve seen that book at the Manor.” 

Dumbledore hummed. “I wish Harry hadn’t confronted him.”

Severus snorted. “It’s what he does.”

“True. And it certainly confirms he’s a true heir of Gryffindor.” Dumbledore sighed. “Gilderoy went to St Mungo’s today.” 

“Has it occurred to you that the Defence position is cursed?” 

Dumbledore nodded. “Yet the position must be filled.” 

Severus smirked. “Good luck with that.” 

Dumbledore smiled. “I suspect we’ll both require luck next year.”

~


End file.
